Coffee Talk: People After Church Service


This post is not against religion. This is against people’s nasty behavior. I find it funny that they just came out of church and the next thing they want to do is create gossip.

Sunday is a Filipino Day. Mr. Hubby and I call it this way because we meet with most of my compatriots on this day. As much as I like many of them, there are strange behaviors that I have observed. Especially after a church service. As you can see, most Filipinos are quite religious. We grew up in a strict Christian way and we pray wherever we are. We utter great words of Jesus Christ to anyone, to everyone, and proud of it. I have nothing against this. Christians are supposed to be one at heart – one also in deeds.

But I have an anecdote to share from last Sunday (Sept. 1)

Mr, Hubby & I came to the house where a compatriot lives. We especially do not want to go back to that place due to people we don’t like living there with her. There was a big reason for this. We were lied to, our trust betrayed, we were treated like beggars, and were disrespected. We have to resort to a sneaky attack to give back what was owed to us. All in all, it’s annoying to spend so much time with a person you think was trustworthy, but only to find out that they are what others talk about them – was quite disappointing. As much as possible we don’t want to be around that person as she’s also known in the Filipino community to have done to others the same thing to us. But there’s one that we have no problem with and we have to give her something. We were coming back and forth to that place because of that woman. Not because of the “untrustworthy” one. Let’s call her: “H”.

Beside the flat is a Filipino community Christian church. As people were getting out, I saw my compatriots who are church goers. As courtesy calls, I smiled and said my greetings to them. One of them, I especially like. She’s a mother of a person I want to be friends with. I have nothing against her. She has never done anything bad to me before – and I also do not recall treating her badly.

But this Sunday, she did something VERY strange. Instead of saying HI back to me, she said this “Ah you’re here to visit H?”
I replied, “No, tita. We have to see Ate L.”
Then ignoring what I said, she called H, who was inside the church that time and told her, “Oh Nessy and her husband are here to see you. They want to visit you.”
And I interrupted her, “No tita we didn’t come to see her. We have to see someone else.” I did not smile anymore, I must’ve looked annoyed. But who wouldn’t be?
So H went out then she saw us. It was awkward moment. But I didn’t say anything and finally the door opened for us to enter the flat.

As we were about to enter, I looked behind for a second and I saw the faces of my own compatriots; the faces of people that just came out from a church – and people that believe that they can do whatever they want as long as they believe in God. And so even if they become insensitive, disrespectful, tactless, inconsiderate, unsympathetic, vulgar, rude, uncivil — IT IS OK. Because they will be forgiven and they can still go to heaven after they die. So who cares about the feelings of other people?

It is a known story to her that Mr. hubby and I had issues with H. But even after what happened between us, we had to get back there because that person’s nieces and boarder needed something from us. So for 3 months, we were going back to that place, but once in awhile only. Hubby and I ignored our personal feelings for the one person. WE ARE CIVILIZED, afterall, right? So whenever we see H, I actually say a simple HI. (Though she never  said anything back. It was ok.) It is only for courtesy purposes. But if we think of the things she did to us, we’ll never forget them. But you know, we want to move forward and be people that forgive, but not forget. It was one of our great lesson dealing with unscrupulous people.

So I do not get it. I do not get why that woman called H. Can’t she read the situation? Even after I told her we came for someone else, she didn’t stop what she wanted to do. That means, she did it on purpose. But for what, I do not know. I only assume base on my other experiences, that she was curious to see our reactions when we see H.
Mr. Hubby also found it weird. He told me that Greeks also do this, not only Filipinos. But then since the 2 of us do not have this kind of mentality like theirs, we find them annoying and my addition to that is – inconsiderate. This is for gossip purposes. Every move you do, every word you say will be used against you. And the stories will be twisted and turned.

But after 1 year of dealing with alot of people, Mr. Hubby and I moved on faster that day. I think we are more accustomed now to strange behaviors of people. They can be annoying, but they are them. If they think it is normal to be like that, I say let them be. We are different from each other, right? But there is a moral code in human history – rewritten, revised, and constituted. Jesus also talked how you should treat your fellowmen. But it looks like those who follow him are not following what he said. I find this funny as those followers are very church-goers.

Forgive me, but I have to say this expression: “Oh,so look who is that Christian!”

Coffee rumblings – END –

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6 thoughts on “Coffee Talk: People After Church Service

  1. Oh, I totally sympathise with you on this Nessy and because of people like that we haven’t set foot in any church for nearly 15 years now and we’ve been married for nearly 30. I have nothing against Christians and I say everyone must believe what they want. If it makes them happy, then good for them. I am not a Christian and have no religion – and like to say what Rumi said – Love is my religion. We had so much trouble in our lives because of people like that and yes, at one stage in our life we also lived in my stepfather’s garage because my hubby didn’t have a job and we were treated like beggars – by my mom and stepfather and his kids and I will never forget that feeling. Just remember – the wheel turns slowly but surely and those people are no Christians in my eyes if they treat others like that. Do they think because they go to Church they are absolved of anything like gossip and does that give them the right to treat others badly? No way! They should be ashamed of themselves and ask their God for forgiveness every minute of their lives!

    Your hubby is right – it’s not only Filipino people who are like that – they are all over my dear. We have their kind here as well and I would rather get into a pit filled with snakes at the Snake Park than talk to them or be friends with them. Ignore them my friend and live your live without shame because you and your hubby love each other and that’s all that matters and you are a kind, loving and caring person and that is 100 times better than what those people will ever be. 😀

    *big hugs*

    • Dear Sonel, another comment that I am truly touched! It is nice to know that there are others who feel the same way as hubby & I in regards to these “type” of people. We are not a very religious couple, but as much as possible, our moral codes are based on something that make sense in our way of living now. If you know it hurts, then don’t do that to others. It’s simple, I don’t need a book to tell me that. We must all feel this way, but some people ignore this. The most I found are those from the church. In today’s dictionary they are called The Apologists. So convenient to be like them. Just say something against the bible and they will always find the answers there. Not even a care for the reality that they are hurting someone. All in the glory of god. I agree with you that they should ask forgiveness every second of their life because it looks like they need it. All We Need is Love. It’s Love that keeps us meaningful. We are so small from the universe perspective, our life look so tiny to it, and for us to live, love is what we can give.

      Wow, I am amazed my dear just how much you’ve been through. (I wonder if we could exchange emails?)
      Thank you very much for coming over , Sonel. I always enjoy your words of wisdom. I can see that as long as I am strong and focus on what I need to do, I can ignore these type of people and not have regret meeting them. I do believe that after meeting all sort of peoples helped me grow to become the person I am now. I know now whom to avoid and when to become cautious. Trust is being wasted when given to the likes of them.

      I will surely keep in touch! Thanks alot! And oh by the way, what happened to your BW challenge? I was hoping to join after we are settled in our new home. *big hugs*

      • Well said hon and you and your hubby just stick to your way of living because that is how it should be. Even here we have those types of people and as much as we tried to fit in with the community I am sorry but I can’t stand people like that and can’t handle them as well and they know how I feel about it. Unfortunately I am very straight-forward and when they start gossipping and have that ‘air’ about them that they are better than others, it just peeves me totally off and well, I don’t keep quiet. Anyways, let them be. I think it’s folks like that that keeps us honest and just a reminder of how we do not want to be. 😉

        You are very welcome to write to me at any time hon. As much as we don’t like meeting people like them, they are part of life’s lessons and they give us the opportunity to grow and learn how to sort out the bad from the good and be grateful for what we do have.

        Oh, I haven’t been well for the past few weeks and couldn’t keep up with everything and there were other issues as well but never mind that. I have another challenge in mind but still working on that. I will do a post about it later in the week. You take care and have fun. 😀 *big hugs*

  2. Pingback: Catch Phrase of the Week: “I Know You!” | A Second of Life in Greece

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