A Month in Our Love Nest

{Special Thanks to the People whom I got the fresh Pines! Usually by this time of the year, and living in Filyro, I would be in the forest and gathering pine cones and cutting pine branches to place in the fireplace. But this year I am so far from it that I contented myself asking the left over pines after a Filipino Church Anniversary celebration last Sunday, and brought home some. A simple green centerpiece on our little table, isn’t it? And you see Mr. Polish Hedgehog , given by a friend from her hometown. Our new addition to the little babies at home. }

“It’s 11.17pm “, says my laptop. Forty-three minutes left to midnight. And it will be a new month. Yes, the month of October. September 1, we started living in our own love nest. After 4 years of struggle with my in-laws, our patience run out eventually. We drastically moved out in July and lived with a friend, with other people living with her, before we found our love nest and moved in this September. Those 2 months of strange feelings, strange environment, were easily forgotten because the years spent with in-laws were unimaginably memorable. Our dreams may have crushed because of the recession – yet it made us who we are now; stronger than ‘that’ moment we said “I DO.” By that time, we didn’t know yet how far we can go with our marriage. How much we can be patient. Time moved without us noticing that we were both evolving. We had our ups and downs; our depressing moments; our fights. At some point we wanted to get divorce. We threatened each other with this many times. Looking back, those were the most silliest moments! I think what made us hang on to each other is the deep love – this unquestionable love we have for each other. We sometimes hate each other, but we love each other more. We sometimes ignore each other, but we need each other much more. I could finally relate to the U2 song, “With or Without You.” For everything that happened, Mr. Hubby & I always look back to where we begun: our almost 5-year long distance relationship before we got married, to the years we spent waiting for each other, for all the pains we been through before we got married, to  the stack of phone cards, the love letter well-kept in their envelopes, the numerous e-mails, the pictures of us together – and to the ones which were photoshopped, and most especially to songs he created for me. Just the thought that I will leave these things behind, hurt me. Perhaps I could be wrong with my decision staying with my husband for this long. Perhaps people are right in what they think about me being stupid and immature in marriage. Perhaps they are right that I made a bad decision in life to marry him or to marry at a young age or to marry without having career first. I lived following people’s dogma’s for so long that I decided to do what I want in my marriage. I have heard advice, which sometimes weren’t even asked (lol), I have heard opinions, I have heard everything I can hear when I have problems with my marriage – but I learned to tell the difference of what others thought about My Marriage and My Thoughts on it. I have learned to separate myself from the dogma. I am glad I did.

Building relationships that will last for a long time, takes time. It takes tons and tons of patience.
I caught a friend’s facebook status yesterday (it’s also the reason why I am making this post. 🙂) saying: “It is not enough to just say relationships are important. We must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. Relationships take patience and effort and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E.” Krissy Jaranilla-Mainar

In addition, after watching the movie: “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, this quote struck me hard:

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” 

Perhaps they are wrong about me marrying Mr. Hubby and not find another man who is rich and perfect in every ways. But when I chose Mr. Hubby, I accepted him for what he is and what he can offer. No one can question me that. So here’s my reply to those who still ask:

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”
–  Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Mr. Hubby & I’s Artwork: On his white board, one day I started drawing those round-face characters. The next day he added the sun, clouds, rainbow, flower, and butterfly! I took this photo before it got erased for his lessons. It brings sweet memory, funny that I drew 3 children with the couple!

“This moment will just be another story someday.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

P.S. Ready to click “Publish”. Time: 12:24 a.m. Happy 1st Month in our Love Nest!


6 thoughts on “A Month in Our Love Nest

  1. What a lovely post Nessy and happy 1st month in the “Love Nest”. 😀 I know you and Mr Hubby are going to be very happy there. 🙂

    One thing I can tell you for sure hon. The minute you talk to people about your problems, you will always get advice. Some will feel for you, others will feel happy because you are struggling too and then there are those who don’t want you to be happy. It was like that for me. Both my families did not want me to be happy because they weren’t happy and I am the only one in the family that’s been married for 27 years and still growing strong. I guess it’s because I never discussed my problems with them. They also could not understand why I didn’t marry a rich man. I don’t care that much for money that I would sell my soul for it. I found my soulmate and that is all that matters. 😀 Love and happiness can’t be bought.

    When we had problems in our marriage we sorted it out between ourselves. Maybe I am lucky that my parents and stepparents never loved me or cared, so I never asked them for advice. My hubby and I had our ups and downs, learned from it, fought, also nearly divorced, had lots of time-outs but just like you and Mr. Hubby, it made our love stronger. As long as there is love, there is hope and I can see you and Mr. Hubby love each other very much and you have many, happy and loving years ahead of you for sure. 😀

    I just love Mr Hedgehog and I can see you’ve made your “Love Nest” a beautiful and loving place to live in my friend. And that artwork you and Mr. Hubby did are just totally adorable! I just love it. You are both so talented. 😀

    Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts and wishing you and Mr. Hubby many, many more loving and happy days in your “Love Nest”. 😀
    *big hugs*

    • Thank you very much for the wonderful thoughts, Sonel! You know it meant so much to me to hear your thoughts. Married for 27 years and still strong? That is a long love story to write about! 😀 It’s amazing how people thought we won’t survive, and after a year passed, they frown to see you – still surviving. I super agree with what you said, everything, especially to the part where you mentioned that the minute you start talking your problems with people — and they don’t care. In my case, a few care, most do not. I know my lesson now. It is good to learn mistakes so I can correct myself later by being cautious who to talk to, especially from the “acting nice and sweet” ones and I am learning to keep my problems known to others, too.
      You are so kind and sweet , Sonel, after hearing what you been through, I face my problems more positively now. Because I think of someone that survived, so why can’t I? 🙂 The love is so deep, that even our problem is financial, it is not hindering us to keep loving each other. Holding on is useless if there’s no feelings anymore, right? But our love is not missing. I see that’s why we’re standing together even in this turbulent times.

      😀 I tried to make our place homey and simple. We need a bit of decoration, but it’s not our priority now. I’m just glad we are out of my in-laws and living in our own…it feels like we are really married! Funny, I admit that 🙂

      Thank you again, dear Sonel. I can’t say more, but you’re one-of-a-kind ! You’re an inspiration! Take care and wishing you a lovely week! 😀
      *big hugs !*

      • That’s the spirit and that is what I love to hear Nessy. You just hang in there hon. I know you and Mr. Hubby love each other and that love you have for each other will see you through.

        Yes, be careful of those that act so nice and sweet. I’ve had a few of them as well. I also know about the ‘frowning’ – they still do it and then it pleases me because I know they’re jealous because their lives are not as happy.

        I wish I could show you a photo of the bed we slept on when we were married hon. It was a single bed that my grandmother gaves us and that is what we slept on. We did not have much furniture as well because we did not have any money. We both had to work and my grandmother was the only one that cared about us. We didn’t even have a car and even today we still talk about those ‘good years’ – we have love and we were happy and still are and that is what is important hon. One day you and Mr. Hubby will also talk about these years and smile and laugh about it.

        You are right, holding on is useless when there’s no love but the love is there and I know the two of you will make it hon.

        We still don’t have much and I don’t much care for material things. I even have curtains that I bought cheap when we moved into our first flat and they’re still hanging and some of our stuff is so old you have to glue it together when you move it, but it’s ours and we love it and it’s lovely memories of the days when we only had love to keep us going. Being the person you are, I know you will make it a ‘home’ for you and Mr. Hubby as you are so creative and sensitive. I also always used scrap material and little things around the house to make it look ‘homey’ and still do, like painted rocks or cushions that I painted myself and old shoes with flowers in. LOL!

        I am also glad you are away from all that negativity. It’s not good for a marriage at all. Other people can be so harmful and I know what you mean.

        You are very welcome hon and thank you for the lovely words. You just hang in there and tell Mr. Hubby the same. There are people out there that knows what both of you are going through and they are still going strong. Just hang on to the love you have for each other and all with be worth it. 😀

        *big hugs* xxx

      • Sonel, I am touched with your story, truly, truly! And you kept those first things you two had…I also cannot let go of the many things we had as “firsts”… so good to know we’re not the only ones who think that it’s important to keep them. 🙂 Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts on my posts…I enjoy reading what you shared to me. Love stories are beautiful when the people involved are not letting go of each other, not giving up despite of the difficulties…this is what I always want to relay to Mr. hubby…I hope he reads my blog someday! Hahaha!
        Your encouragement is deeply appreciated. *hugs*
        I wish you a nice day and see you around from now on! Our own net is in the house now, hihihi!
        Kisses and hugs-Nessy

  2. If there is one thing I have worked over 28 year of marriage is that relationships, including marriage do need to be worked at every day. And I am still working on it. I think there is a perception is society that once married, or in love, we can relax and let it just ‘happen,’ however this can only occur, it seems, in a perfect world where everyone accepts each other no matter what. This is quite difficult to achieve in a materialistic world. Thanks for this post and being so brave to open up. It is discussions like this that are helpful to others.

    • Hi Amanda, thank you for passing by and most importantly, for sharing your thoughts. I am married for almost 5 years and reading your comment and that of Sonel, it looks like I still have a long way to go with my marriage, hahaha!

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